This web page was really ready by the dead line, but my dog ate it.
Brothers, please be patient and give me an another extension. Weep!
Ballad of Art's Car
Bye Bye Beta Theta Pi
I've Got Work to Do
I've never Been This Hurt Before
My Time of Day
Taking Care of Business
If you remember any of the writings on the wall please send them to
Yes, I'm still here, on the rag, since 1978, and almost finished. Really.
I'm so behind on my work, I'll never die.
So fine! Puff pastry. - Sawyer
God is dead. -Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. -God
Small haploid gametophyte that you are! - Kevin Fallis
The walls may be down, but their message lives on, something like these:
This was a private hell until you walked in.
How long is the Beta tester going to keep testing us?
I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Any connection between my reality & yours is purely coincidental.
Is boneless chicken considered to be an Invertebrate?
I went to a library and asked the librarian, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
The best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?
The light went out, but where to?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?
Due to energy budget cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Going crazy, wanna come along?
Live each moment as if your hair is on fire!
Reality is overrated, but I hear the market is going up. Sell.
I'm so behind on my work I'll never die!
That piece of paper is trash.
Is it slutting around with the other pieces of paper?
This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.
Remember, when you're feeling so low you have to reach up to touch bottom..... whose bottom it is can make a big difference!
Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you're in Australia -then start worrying)
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
For sale cheap: one life. not used much. near mint condition.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
Remember, it's not "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"
God made pot. Man made beer. Whom do you trust?
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
I have to work for myself. No serious company would hire me.